Courage is Contagious: The Heart of Daring Leadership
By Shelley Malo, Dare to Lead™ Participant, Winnipeg, MB
Earlier this month, thanks to Diane Lloyd and Nicole McLellan from Inspired Results Group, I attended a multi-day Dare to Lead™ training program in Winnipeg. I attended this training to support the work I do in coaching leaders through managing change. I knew going into this training that the vulnerability is at the heart of leadership, but knowing this and living it can be very different.
At the core of the Dare to Lead™ program is what Brené Brown refers to as “The Heart of Daring Leadership” which she translates into three key principles:
Courage requires vulnerability
Know yourself: who you are is how you lead
Courage is contagious
For me, the richness of the training was in working with a group of over thirty other professionals who all showed up and demonstrated tremendous courage and vulnerability in rich partner and group sharing exercises. When one participant let their guard down and shared in a way that was vulnerable and courageous, it allowed others to do the same. We experienced the liberation of owning and accepting the three principles. I was familiar with the concepts before the training, but experiencing them in this context was the game changer for me.
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve been reflecting on these principles and how to apply them in a time of great fear and social isolation. How can we be daring leaders when so much seems to be at stake?
For me, the question has become: how can we not?
I am now here with a brave leadership toolkit and the need to get uncomfortable and “embrace the suck” of vulnerability. I have family members and close friends who are on the front lines in healthcare prepared to support those in need, and others who are struggling—feeling overwhelmed with fear for the well-being of themselves and their families, their livelihoods, and having their basic needs met. I find myself sitting in the vulnerability that our global community is experiencing through this pandemic. This is an unprecedented experience and is guiding me to embrace unprecedented levels of vulnerability and courage.
I know this may seem shameful to some, but I think I finally learned how to properly wash my hands. I knew how I should be washing my hands, but it always felt like overkill, especially the part about using a paper towel to open the bathroom door when leaving a public washroom. It feels good to be taking the time to follow this extra effort for the benefit of myself and others around me, and it makes me feel like I’m part of the solution.
I have reflected on how I can support those who are experiencing fear and anxiety through this pandemic through listening to them, hearing their fears, letting them know that they have been heard and are not alone.
I’ve often found in leading change that people just want to have a safe, judgment-free space to express their concerns, not to have them fixed, just to be heard. Talking with the other participants in the Inspired Results Group, Dare to Lead training allowed me to experience the truly cathartic value of nonjudgmental listening and for me, that is at the heart of the work. I am committed to continuing to develop and learn. Being judgmental comes naturally for many of us. As leaders, we constantly need to assess and judge situations, often rapidly as is the case with responding to this pandemic, but it does not require casting judgment on others.
I’ve learned that the opposite of judgment is curiosity.
What if we remained curious just a little bit longer, truly heard what people were saying, even when it made us uncomfortable or fearful ourselves?
What if we were able to apply Brown’s three principles to this difficult situation and lead with self-awareness, vulnerability, and courage?
It can be as simple as saying: “I understand that you are scared. How can I support you?”.
Perhaps it looks like vulnerability: “I’m scared too, and I am glad that I can talk with you so openly”
You could also initiate the conversation to say you are struggling with fear yourself!
Leading with courage and vulnerability will look different for all of us, but keeping those principles in mind when we are talking with those we lead and our loved ones may make the difference in whether they feel safe enough to come to us rather than suffer in silence.
Dare to Lead™ - Winnipeg with Inspired Results Group
Since attending the training, I’ve found the greatest part about being vulnerable and courageous is that I don’t feel the need to do it perfectly—I just have to do my best. When I act out of alignment with my values, I use courage and vulnerability to guide me to go back and try again. More than once in this past month I have come back to people and said: “I was thinking about our discussion and I don’t feel good about how I participated (or what I said)”.
Surprisingly for me, much of the richness of these core brave leadership concepts has come when I initially failed and then had to revisit conversations. Is there a recent conversation that you need to revisit? Maybe it would be a good time to reach out to your team members or loved ones and ask how they are doing, and just listen to them with curiosity and interest.
You might find, like I have, that that listening with courage and vulnerability is an empowering act of leadership that can make a difference in how we support each other through these uncertain times.
