Vulnerable Lessons on the West Coast Trail
Ten years ago, I never heard the word vulnerability used in a work or leadership context. Now, it seems to be a word and concept that is showing up everywhere, but it is still misunderstood (and I know I have a bias). Many people think of vulnerability as being overly open and un-boundaried with their thoughts and feelings, with no consideration for the impact that will have on those around them. That is NOT the kind of vulnerability we are talking about here.
So what does a healthy dose of vulnerability look like? And what does it really mean?
Of course, I will lean on Brené Brown’s definition of vulnerability which is this; “vulnerability is leaning into risk, uncertainty or emotional exposure.” So that feeling of discomfort we get when we are entering a hard conversation, or taking on a role that is new and challenging, or speaking up to voice a different perspective in a meeting – this is vulnerability.
This picture at the top of the blog is me on the first ladder of the West Coast Trail in June of 2019. That was an experience of vulnerability that I will not soon forget. Facing 75 of those ladders over six days of back-country hiking exposed me to physical risk and emotional exposure on an hourly basis! Every hour I had to push through the fear of hurting myself, the literal discomfort of hiking through bogs, bush and beaches that never ended, and the mental demons that showed up to tell me I wasn’t capable of a challenge like this. Every hour was uncertain, the risks show up at every level and my fears were on display for my family to witness. I had to ask for help often, I needed lots of encouragement and reassurance that I was capable. My husband even said to me at one point “you need to get out of your head and just do it” just as I was crossing a log bridge over a storm surge that was 50 feet deep (you see what I mean!). Any previous pretense that I was confident, had my shit together or knew what I was doing was exposed, and my humanness was on display for my family to witness.
This experience of vulnerability on the west coast trail taught me many lessons, but the most important lesson was that my vulnerability didn’t make me weak or unworthy of my family’s respect. In fact, that experience of shared vulnerability created a deeper level of respect, connection and trust between the four of us. We reminisce often about that adventure, the challenge and the triumph of taking one vulnerable step at a time towards a shared goal – finishing the hike injury free and taking a shower!
Vulnerability has been our collective experience as we have navigated life and work through a global pandemic. We have all experienced risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure over the past 12 months – we had no choice – it was happening to us daily! And that discomfort we all felt was the discomfort of vulnerability. It was no longer optional, we learned to navigate the risks, uncertainty and exposure of our emotions at work and home. And yes, it has been exhausting to be in this sustained vulnerable state, AND you have learned something about yourself. You have risen to new challenges, you have survived constant change and you are doing many things differently that may actually be better than before. This is the by-product of stepping into vulnerability; the growth that we experience every time we dance with vulnerability and learn some new moves. We discover our own capacity and capabilities. Vulnerability teaches us that we are more than our limiting beliefs about ourselves; in fact, we are unlimited in our potential – we just need to wrestle with the discomfort along the way.
So I am curious….how has this blog changed your perception of vulnerability? What will you embrace when risk, uncertainty or some emotional exposure shows up?
If you want to dive deeper on vulnerability and brave leadership, then you will want to check out our upcoming Dare to Lead™ training starting on Monday, April 19th! Click here to learn more.